the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize