I wish my penis had an off switch
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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