can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
