There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
