Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
