I'm so fucking centered right now
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
