Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
false alarm. still invincible.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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