just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
