dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
