hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
