3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
