Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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