My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
