do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
