Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
