im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize