Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
