i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
high people should be assigned attendants
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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