No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we made out on top of his cat.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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