Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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