Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
