AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
