There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
