Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
