Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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