I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
