I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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