my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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