So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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