im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
