you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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