RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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