Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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