i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
