Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
