go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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