Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
