Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just come out here and I will go home with you...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
