I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
