She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
