Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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