i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
