There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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