They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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