Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
