so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize