help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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