Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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