she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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