please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
