dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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