I wannas sexs uuuuu
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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