Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
