Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
