I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize