my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
