I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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