i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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