You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
