you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
