I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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