So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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