Where is the hickey?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
