It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
