I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize