Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
