people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
