I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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