I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
