i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
