so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
