This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
